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I
remember the time he told me one of his most
personal secrets and then I told somebody else,
after he had trusted me to keep it between the two
of us. I thought he was going to walk away and
never look back again, no matter how hard I pleaded
for forgiveness. But he didn’t.
I
remember one day when I spilled a can of motor oil
all over his newly upholstered seats, and I half
expected him to lose his temper and slap me. But he
didn’t.
And
then, one morning during study hall, he intercepted
a love note from another boy, and I figured he would
be jealous, and he was. I thought he’d stop coming
around. But he didn’t.
When he was teaching me how to parallel park, I
backed his old, much loved car into a fence post. I
just knew he’d cuss me out. But he didn’t.
And
one night, we went to a barbecue place and I dumped
a whole pint of messy slaw in his lap...on purpose,
because he said he might take somebody else to the
movie the next night. He should have made me walk
home. But he didn’t.
On
a hot August afternoon, the two of us walked for two
miles through fields full of tasseling corn back to
where the river lay in soft ripples along steep
banks. I found a rock in the field that I wanted to
use in a special place in my tiny flower garden. It
was large and heavy. I wouldn’t have blamed him if
he had left it there. But he didn’t.
I
remember how he tried his best to warn me, but I
went ahead and dated that “nice” boy anyhow. I
thought he’d say “I told you so.” But he didn’t.
And
then there was the day the other girl won the
science fair project blue ribbon and I just got
honorable mention. I’m surprised he didn’t laugh at
me when I cried for hours over some stupid ribbon on
the digestive system. But he didn’t.
I’ll never forget the night I was supposed to go
with him to buy a new set of tires for his car, and
we were going to stop for a milkshake on the way. I
got a chance to date the captain of the football
team, so I slipped off with him instead. I wouldn’t
have blamed him if he had never said another word to
me and thrown up his hands entirely. But he didn’t.
There were lots of things he didn’t do. But he
looked after me and tried to protect me, and always
stood by me with an open heart and a gentle smile.
He accepted my fearless, unpredictable nature right
along with my tranquil, gentle side, and never
pressed me to change a thing about myself. When I
got mad enough that I threw things at him, he just
sidestepped, and smiled.
So
there were many things I wanted to do to make it all
up to him. I wanted to thank him for his patience
and perseverance and for all the many times he
believed in me so I could believe in myself. I
wanted to tell him how much I missed his easygoing
ways and his gentle touch. And I wanted to do all
the things I had planned that would show him just
how much he meant to me ...when he returned from
Viet Nam. But he didn’t.
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